I Wrote A Parody of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18

This is an experiment in writing the opposite of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18

I wasn’t going for accuracy, but for the most insult per line! I hope you all have a laugh and enjoy!


Shall I compare thee to a horse’s arse?

Thou art more loathsome and repugnant.

Thine pimples more numerous than the stars.

Methink’st thine lone friends are fleas abundant.

What beauty exists more sweeter than thee?

Foul as a chamber pot full up to the brim.

Anything is more fine-looking than thee.

Away from me, posthaste, you mewling quim!

Thou  artless, scandalous, pox-mark’d flax-wench!

How feckless and dim-witted thou must be,

To be unaffected by thine own stench!

Surely thine countenance is vile to thee?

A face that only a mother could love,

A job that no one is in envy of.

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