What exactly is this blog about? What is anything about, really? Life is a series of actions and choices strung together by stardust and chance. This is just a place for thoughts to rest on their journey into the universe.
Who am I?
I am a person who loves to learn. I am fascinated by subjects like theoretical physics, string theory, astronomy, history, anthropology, geology, and oceanography.
And anthropology. I forgot to add that one to the list. I am also a person who is forgetful.
I make no great claims to understand the depth and breadth of any of these subjects fully. Instead, it simply makes me happy to learn new things, and collect random bits of knowledge that I hoard and take with me throughout my life.
I am easily frustrated and anxious. I am an overachiever. I am a stickler for rules and details. I am also an idealist. I have a way of thinking things should be orderly and just, even though I’m well aware that the world doesn’t work that way.
I am a hard worker. I am creative and dorky. I am kind and compassionate, even though I try to fight against those traits in order to harden my heart to protect myself from harm. It doesn’t work. It never works. I find myself being very in tune to, and sometimes overwhelmed by other people’s emotions. I feel it makes me a good friend and confidant, but it can also be very draining.
I am overly critical of myself, and I can be my own worst enemy. I am a perfectionist, and I hold myself and others to impossibly high standards. Often to my detriment. Whether or not any or all of these characteristics can be traced back to past trauma is something I struggle with understanding everyday. Who I am, and what’s happened to me are inextricably linked, and I vacillate between being grateful for who I am and searching for an identity.
I make no claims that any of the above is positive or negative. It simply is. I am who I am, and that’s the only thing I can be. It’s the only thing I should be.
We should all be marvelously ourselves.