Crossroads: Part One, Introduction

The clock chimes four as the afternoon sun pours through my windows this crisp, October afternoon. Sitting here at my desk, I began to reflect upon my life and the path this journey has taken me so far. I see glimpses of the past like photos on a wall. I feel the warmth of the sun and think of the warm embrace from my mother as a child.

I close my eyes and see the smiling face of the cousin who died so many years ago. The breeze from the open window embodies the winds of change that have constantly guided my life. The rustle of the leaves and the chirping of the birds bring me comfort; I feel as though I am not alone. As I write, I desperately need to put every thought and memory down on paper, and yet I hold back for fear of judgment. I often recoil at just the thought of anyone knowing the deepest, darkest innermost thoughts that reside within my soul. I contemplate retreat, but I choose now to march forward, whatever is dredged up will be. I can only hope to be able to deal with what consequences that may arise. Recollections of the memories that feel so long ago and the laughs that I shared with others just recently, begin to fill my mind.

As I sit and write this memoir, I wonder if somehow the decisions I have made and the events in my life are truly leading me somewhere special. If only there was a way to look into time itself and know for sure that the hardships that were endured are for a purpose, or if it has all been for naught, I could finally find some kind of understanding. I would somehow feel more at ease if there I possessed a concrete answer. The things I write here today will stand as a testament of where I came from and where I plan to go. In this moment, I stand at the crossroad of adolescence and adulthood. This is where life begins.

Starting from my childhood and moving toward the present, I see the events and people who shaped my life thus far. From my mother who is a shining example of what a parent should be, to my father who is a stain upon my family tapestry. Every moment, person, and memory is woven into the very fiber of my being. I can look back over my life and see how much I have changed since my early years in elementary school. I am not the same person then; nor will I be the same person ten years from now.

Nothing stays the same, and I am no exception. In the future, I hope to have the good fortune to be someone new while also retaining who I have always been. This is who I am now and as I age and grow, so shall this story.