This is an experiment in writing the opposite of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18
I wasn’t going for accuracy, but for the most insult per line! I hope you all have a laugh and enjoy!
Shall I compare thee to a horse’s arse?
Thou art more loathsome and repugnant.
Thine pimples more numerous than the stars.
Methink’st thine lone friends are fleas abundant.
What beauty exists more sweeter than thee?
Foul as a chamber pot full up to the brim.
Anything is more fine-looking than thee.
Away from me, posthaste, you mewling quim!
Thou artless, scandalous, pox-mark’d flax-wench!
How feckless and dim-witted thou must be,
To be unaffected by thine own stench!
Surely thine countenance is vile to thee?
A face that only a mother could love,
A job that no one is in envy of.